very frustrated

i need to get these fliers out about “move it, dig it, do it”, and usually i ask the moms on the local moms groups to help me, and they usually come through like gang busters. but i’ve not had a single mom pick any up yet, or even say they would. 🙁 and normally i would say, ok, no worries, I’LL hit the town hard and go everywhere. but right now things are so tight financially that its seriously getting scary to figure out how we are going to pay our bills. for the last couple months we are coming up short on the necessities and having to scrape harder then i think we’ve ever had to scrape before. so that means gas is a very valuable commodity and i simply cannot use up our precious fuel going everywhere all over town.

i’m not sure what to do at this point.

TDC paid over a hundred bucks for these fliers because they had run out of toner for their copy machine and i thought i had a team of moms that would blanket the town, as they usually did, and that i needed to get them copied pronto so janet, the director of TDC, said to go ahead and have them printed. that’s money TDC really doesn’t have. they are not making ends meet even worse than our family right now. which is why this event is so very important for them, so advertising like this HAS to happen.

anyway, so now i have this stack of fliers sitting outside my house and one inside my car, that i’m not sure how i’m going to get it out and i’m really frustrated because the event is a week away.

for babyfest every year i’ve had a whole slew of mamas that email and say they’ll take even just a handful and they really came through every time. i thought it would be like that again, but its just not happening right now and its stressing me out!

not to mention our money situation is adding to all my stress. i swear, we are actually doing WORSE now than when adam had his 10% pay cut! its insane! the only thing i can figure is that PG&E just went up $88/month and he’s not getting all the side jobs that helped us through the pay cut times. there’s money out there that people owe him, a fairly good amount too, and he’s just not getting paid what he’s due because they don’t have the money to pay him.

so we are having to stay home more because we cannot afford much gas. we are stretching our food at home and we have debts that we just cannot pay right now…medical bills up the ying yang because i don’t have health insurance and the insurance adam has is pretty crappy. oh and the kids have healthy families but i only use it for emergencies so we have bills to their ped. then there’s the credit card that we were so proud of being paid off, but now has about $1000 on it because adam had to buy some gear for work on it (for his freelancing) and we thought would be able to be paid off pronto, but then everything went to hell and we ended up having to use every penny he brought in for necessities and still are.

i know that people all over are struggling. i know that. but it doesn’t make it any easier from where i stand right now, very stressed, over how i’m going to pay for my daughter’s birthday party coming up which she has her heart set on and realizing that we again will have to cancel our homeschool day at marine world because we cannot afford it. not the end of the world, but still depressing. i don’t even want to think about xmas.

oh and then there’s the fact that i can barely see out of my glasses, they are so scratched up, our big room is still a nasty mess because we cannot even afford to pay the bills much less get that fixed up again, adam’s car has been in dire need of new brakes for a LONG time (scary), the van needs some work, just about every electronic device in our house doesn’t work (no joke–stereo, boombox, dvd/vcr sucks big time, cordless phones died, etc), tyren doesn’t have a bed because maeven broke the box spring and while i managed to find one on freecycle the crazy lady for some reason decided i was someone that always asks for everything and never shows up and is suspicious that i may be selling things as a business when i’ve never actually emailed this woman before and she wanted to report me which is ludicrous and she gave the thing to someone else apparently (*sigh*), i have barely enough coming in to my websites to pay for the websites themselves right now, i don’t even know how i’m going to pay the $10 for the art club that my kids really love that is next week, my computer has been blue screening again, and everywhere i go in my house i see things that need repairing or replacing and i cannot even begin to think about when we will have the money to do that.

yeah, i’m whining, and yeah others have it worse. at least we have a home and adam has a job. i know that. but if you cannot vent on your own blog, i don’t know where you can! GRRRRRR.

ok now that i got that off my chest, i need to go buckle down and work on “move it, dig it, do it” so that i can get more help on it. and try desperately to find people to help me with these damn fliers. they HAVE to go out, TODAY!! hmmmm, i think we’ll be doing some walking around our neighborhood today. save on gas and get some exercise. 🙂