they’re coming to take me awaaaaaaaaaay!

i’m really going insane, i really am! my son is driving me to the nuthouse! during the day i cannot get anything done because he pitches a fit (he’s 11.5mo) if i put him down…he’s like 30lbs and i don’t really want to wear him all day because he’s so friggin heavy and its HOT…plus its very hard to wash dishes with a baby in a sling on your hip. i’m all for babywearing, but i really don’t like to do EVERYTHING with him on me. he’s HEAVY!

so he cries and fusses and screams a lot all day…certainly anytime i want to do anything…like run to the laundry room to put in a load of laundry. and he is now getting into everything, pulling books off shelves and eating garbage off the floor (i know, typical baby, but maeven wasn’t like this so its fairly new to me)…and pitches a fit every single diaper change like i’m torturing him…

and then at nite….oh gawd! he thrashes and cries half the nite many many nites! not every single nite…but often. ever since he was tiny really. he kicks and tosses and turns and cries…i don’t know why. i’ve been wracking my brains for nearly a year trying to figure out why he does this…is he hot? cold? gassy? poopy? wet? want to be in my arms? want to be out of my arms? nothing seems to work for long, if at all. and he won’t nurse on my right side…only my left…and lately he won’t even let me roll him over to my right side to just lay there, he pitches a fit! so my left hip is killing me many nites from being stuck on it all nite.

ok so i’m doing an awful lot of complaining…but last nite i ended up around 2am in the rocking recliner in the living room cuz he wouldn’t stop thrashing and finally was able to get some sleep…although he still repeatedly woke me up thrashing even in there. just not as much.

i’m just going nuts here! i’m not getting enough sleep to handle the day with him and my mom is away for 3 friggin weeks in russia so i don’t even get nana’s help to get a break from all the baby stuff during the day.

and now he’s crying cuz i’m on the computer so i cannot even vent anymore….i want to SCREAM!!!!!!