Sick thoughts

posted in: Blogger, Reminiscing | 0

Laying in bed, sick with a cold, listening to Pandora on my phone. I plugged in Kenny Loggins, one of my favorites, and it started with his heart wrenching, but oh-so-lovely “Forever”…not a song that reminds me of anything in particular but feels like it must to many. It’s such a strong song. Started me thinking about how songs often hold memories and emotions….like how anytime I hear music from the 80s I’m transported back to high school. Or anything from Kenny Loggins “Live from the Redwoods” makes me remember that time of serenity when I lived by myself that last year in Sacto and I’d crank Kenny up and sit on my balcony in the sun with my cat and write in my journal and feel true peace and happiness. When I was actually quite happy with my life, except for the absence of that one special someone for me…

Eventually Pandora hit one that has deep meaning to me: Chicago’s “Hard for me to Say I’m Sorry” and BAM I’m my 16yr old self, weeping. (in memory, not actually…thankfully these memories no longer hold that power over me.) Mourning the loss of the first boy that ever actually meant anything REAL to me. (Come on, we all have them! You know you did too!) He had moved far away just shortly after we started actually dating (had been friends for awhile)…and he had sent me a mix tape….remember those? And the power they had? Oh goodness, this one was full of similar songs that reduced me to a puddle. I don’t remember all the songs from that tape anymore, but that Chicago song to this day transports me instantly to that girl curled up in a ball crying her eyes out. Not a fun time in my life.

There’s lots of music that transports me…some of the songs I put together for my mom’s mix tape I gave her to listen to in the hospital after her mastectomy, a terrifying time. The soundtrack to the Kevin Costner “Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves” makes me remember that first summer with Adam and all the excitement of a new relationship and for the first time EVER, one where a guy actually doted on me and made me feel truly special…

….ACDC albums “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” and “Who Made Who”, take me back to cruising in the GTO (aka “The Goat” with “The Guys” in high school…oh so much fun just being a teenage girl in a gang of guy friends ….”Funky Town” makes me think of dancing at the Junior Prom….Nirvana’s first album takes me back to partying in college with this one particular boyfriend that, for that first year made me so happy and made me feel so much like I belonged…and the emotions that went with that relationship as it later crumbled….that Amanda Marshal cd I discovered during my time at SCICON and how I would crank it in my room and feel that old sense of peace I used to feel in Sacto….but then the deep sense of gut-wrenching hurt and aloneness that later came from my time there…

That one particular Loreena McKennitt cd that makes me relive the simpler times in the beginning of my relationship with Adam….Scorpions and U2 remind me of the same boy who made me cry with his mix tape….Bon Jovi “Slippery When Wet” of Catholic school dances (SO FUN! For some reason the Catholic schools had all the awesome dances and my Catholic friends always knew where the good ones were, and we’d travel to them) in high school….and “Easy Lover” takes me back to learning the hand motions in marching band in high school (its on right now)…..and Bruce Springsteen actually brings me back to the boyfriend in college in Sacto, CA and NOT my high school (which was Bruce’s), because he was the one that actually got me into Bruce’s music….

And that song from the movie “Anastasia” that was our first dance at Adam’s and my wedding is still so wrapped up in all the hopes and dreams of starting a new life together….which I’m still living!!!

Boy music really does transport you, doesn’t? What music takes you back??

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