i was just going through some old emails and stumbled upon a response i made to a yahoogroup i’m on… one for those that have suffered the loss of our precious babies…
and i was rereading what i wrote and i felt it was very poignant so i wanted to post it here, to keep for posterity:
“your post made me think, for some reason, of that stupid phrase “prayer works”, which i hear thrown around all the time and absolutely INFURIATES me.
i don’t believe prayer works in the way they imply with that ridiculous phrase. like miraculous things happen if you only pray hard enough. or you have enough people praying.
if it worked, then my baby would be alive. and nothing anyone can say to me will convince me otherwise. i think that saying is a load of crap because believe me, every one of us was praying our pants off during those minutes right after my precious little baby boy was out of me and not showing signs of breathing. and i refuse to believe that god is a cruel, vicious god that requires a certain number of faithful followers praying together in order to answer a prayer. why does one baby live and another doesn’t? certainly not because the survivor’s parents prayed harder, or were more faithful! no way anyone can convince me of that. i refuse to believe god would be so heartless.
the answer, in my mind, is that there just isn’t an answer. sometimes people live, and sometimes people die. that’s just life. don’t get me wrong…i still believe in god and i do pray, even though i don’t consider myself a religious person, nor a christian…but i personally wholeheartedly believe in god and praying feels good so i continue to do so. but every time i hear someone spouting off that crap about “prayer works” i want to strangle them.
sorry…don’t know where that came from but this seemed the appropriate place to say it.”
Anonymous
Dear Tina, Saw your blogspot ad on the NJ Loop post you wrote. I just wanted to comment that when I lost my baby, it was one of the most difficult experiences in my life. I have a strong faith (I am Muslim) and choose to believe that that experience brought me closer to God. We have a belief from the sayings of the Prophet Mohammed, that when parents accept the death of a child as the Will of God, that that child will be waiting to welcome them to Heaven when they die. I realize everyone’s expperience/belief is different, but just wanted to share. It seems that sometimes prayer doesn’t appear to affect the outcome but it always affects us.
Anonymous
I do believe that prayer works. God hears our prayers – yours and mine. He can choose to work a miracle, or He can choose not to. I don’t understand why He chooses what He does, but I do believe He is powerful and the only one who can change a situation/save a baby etc. So why NOT pray? I agree with the previous comment. It’s good for us, and it’s good for God to realize that we do recognize our dependance on Him.
Tina
thank you to the first poster…i appreciate the thought. i don’t necessarily agree, but you know what its like, you’ve been there and so i appreciate the thought behind your comment. and actually your last sentence does ring true to me.
to the second poster…i’m not sure what the purpose of your comment is. i said in the post that you cannot change my mind on this issue. i’m talking about the death of my child and unless you’ve been through that you cannot possibly fathom what it does to your faith. anyway i’m just not sure what the point was of posting that you disagree. i guess the real conflict would be in the definition of what “prayer works” means…i have always interpreted it to mean that prayer will get you results. and with that definition i totally disagree. perhaps you are defining it differently. and then i guess the next thing would be what exactly is meant by “results”…this could get really deep.