pet peeve #592

ok i don’t have THAT many pet peeves…but i do have a lot.

this just annoys me.

when people make comments, however innocent, about all that i do. i get this over and over and over and OVER. even from friends. thankfully most of my closes friends don’t do this, but some not so close friends.

more specifically…when i do something, like organize something or build something (a website, whatever) and someone makes some kind of a comment about how they don’t KNOW how i find the time! and HOW do i find the time???? and ya wanna really piss me off, tell me that i need to relax and stop doing so much. that REALLY irks me.

i’m not sure why that rubs me so wrong, but i’ve never taken well to people implying i’m not doing what i should be doing…or doing too much or too little or whatever…anyone saying “you need to…” will immediately get my hackles up. i guess its the little kid in me still (“don’t TELL me what to do!!!”) good lord, maybe that’s where maeven gets it from! aaaaaaaaaah!!

its really hard to put it into words…but sometimes the way its worded makes me feel like they are implying that i’m crazy and i shouldn’t be doing so much cuz in order for me to be organizing things and making so much more work for myself that i must be doing wrong by other parts of my life…particularly my kids.

and maybe i do, and maybe i don’t. but casual acquaintances, in my mind, don’t have any right to judge me…and people close to me shouldn’t judge, but just love me the way i am.

i just get so sick of getting complimented and thanked and patted on the back for all the activities and fun stuff and events and all the stuff i organize for families to enjoy and then in the same breath get, in my view, criticized cuz i’m “doing too much.” don’t tell me i’m doing too much! I’LL decide when i’m doing too much!!! true or not, its not your place to tell me that!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

not sure where that just came from…but i was just thinking about this when i was writing the simplifying post because it immediately made me hear all the voices in my head from all the multitude (and trust me, i hear it aaaaaaaaaaaaalllll the time from eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvveryone!) people that hear of all i do and tell me i “do too much”. casually, off-hand, innocently, but every one digs into me and adds up to where i may just snap some day at some poor unsuspecting person. 🙁

anyway, this is me. if you met my dad…if you knew him during the past 37 years that i’ve known him…you’d know where i get it from. some people just have to be busy. some people just aren’t able to sit still. i was raised in an ever changing environment…dad in the navy, we moved constantly, all over the world…by a dad (and mom, but particularly dad) that constantly was busy with 5million different things (usually all involving helping or giving to others) so this is just how i’ve turned out as a result of my environment and my genetics.

i LIKE organizing and creating things! its like a drug to me! i get emails and comments all the time from people who LOVE my sites, who are SO appreciative of the activities i organize, who THANK me for all that i’ve done that they’ve benefited from…and i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE that! it gives me a rush and makes me happy to be alive!

when my children enjoy what i’ve created for them, what i’ve set up for them, what i’ve arranged for them…i am in heaven! when someone sends me an email thanking me for creating one of my websites (and i should have saved all these because i swear i’ve received HUNDREDS over the years and every one is just so wonderful), i am on cloud 9! when someone tells me at an activity that i set up that they are SO glad that i did it and thanks me…i get a high that no drug could create! it’s my joy. its what i love. and i don’t only do it for others, i do it for myself too. i like doing it and i like that others like me doing it. so why would you then criticize that and tell me i’m doing too much? it’s like you compliment me and then slap me in the face. especially since 99% of the people saying this don’t really know me so they don’t really know if i truly AM doing too much. they just know i do way more than they do, or would want to do. and that’s ok. we can’t all do the same things. so why criticize me for doing what i love? i don’t get it.

ok i feel better. i’ve gotten my vent out. i’m sure i’ll have to come vent again sometime though. its not ever going to end, these comments. so i just grin and bear it and ignore it as best i can til i explode here and get it out of my system. thanks for “listening.”