Another day of BLEH

posted in: Bleh | 0

It’s one of those days where I can’t seem to get motivated to start and I just feel like BLEH. Which is strange because at the same time I still feel really fired up about my project and how much progress I’ve made on it lately! And I truly want to get working on it. But for some reason I have had SUCH a hard time getting moving today.

I was going to say “this morning”…but then glanced at the clock and it’s after 1:30pm!!

Well, I DID finally manage to shower!
So there’s that!!
Lemme tell ya, showers are ACCOMPLISHMENTS these days!

I guess it’s just one of those days….

Because honestly, things have been going fairly well lately…Tyr has been cooperating with homeschooling, I’ve been making some progress with my biz project (though, never as much as I’d like. but that will probably always be the case), my parents are doing better, my brother and his wife are doing better in NY, we are caught up on bills (though that doesn’t mean we are financially stable, and money is always an issue…but we are no longer behind and that’s HUGE! I will take the good stuff when it happens!)….

My tooth still needs work but it’s tolerable currently and will be looked at again soon. My shoulder is awful but I have a telephone appt with my doctor in about an hour and will be talking to her about getting physical therapy to remedy that…

The weather has been just gorgeous lately! I have the windows thrown open and fresh air and sunshine streaming in right now!

I’m making great progress on my temperature blanket

Had a nice long weekend (due to Presidents Day) with my family, including a visit with my parents on Valentine’s Day:

Dad was being goofy with his mask. Silly old man.

So why the hell am I so BLEH today??? Hell if I know! I guess it’s just a Monday thing. Although it’s actually Tuesday because of the holiday…but a beginning of a week thing.

And a will-this-pandemic-ever-end thing.

And a will-we-ever-be-financially-stable-to-the-point-of-being-able-to-have-and-do-the-things-we-want? thing. I truly believe we will. I really and truly do. And I am working very hard towards this. I never ever give up.

I am finally at a point where Tyren is FINALLY doing well with his learning and I can take large chunks of my day to focus on my business and I am finally GETTING SOMEWHERE. And it FEELS SO GOOD! But it is a constant battle with this brain that doesn’t work quite right. And all these damned squirrels.

Just this morning I got another idea that temporarily sidetracked me…but I locked that squirrel up and told it to shut the hell up and I’ll get back to it later. I am already working on something. The idea is a good one and maybe it could help us, but I am DETERMINED to make this project I’m currently working on already finally pan out! And I am NOT NOT NOT going to get sidetracked!!

And, checking my digital ideas notebook…whaddayaknow? I already have notes on that VERY SAME IDEA that I came up with this morning…from years ago! I’ve been thinking on it for awhile obviously…so I’ll just add what I thought of today…and then LET IT GO (for now)…and get back to the project at hand!! Because what I am working on right now is VERY worthwhile and very doable and has very good potential! And I am not going to let myself get off track and squirrel off into other things again like I have for about 2 decades now!!

The ADHD meds that I am on now seem to be helping some…I can’t tell if they are helping a lot or not, but they do seem to be helping some and I feel like I can focus a bit more now and I am going to see where this takes me!

You know you’ve been playing too much Flame in the Flood when…

posted in: Musings | 0

…you go outside (in the rain, I might add…just adding to the authenticity…) to close the recycling bin that some asshole passerby has opened…and it’s raining…so it’s been filling up with rainwater for I-don’t-know-how-long and the recycling truck is coming today…and when you get outside to the end of the driveway you hear a dog howling somewhere in the neighborhood and think:


…and catch yourself starting to look around…

If you have ever played this game, you’ll get it.

Then go inside laughing hysterically and share with your gamer family and hubby, son and daughter all have a good laugh and share the times THEY did something similar.

Too funny!

Pain sucks

posted in: Uncategorized | 0

According to this Lego pain scale, I guess I’m at a 4 since it’s making tasks difficult. Although I am trying to push through, it is making my life difficult, for sure.

I had a doctor’s appt last week to figure out what’s going on with my shoulder. She has sent me to get an x-ray so we don’t know for sure yet, but she is looking at possible rotator cuff issues. No idea how that could have happened. All I know is a couple months ago my shoulder started seriously hurting and while it does go up and down in intensity, it is NOT getting better. The pain is constant in some form.

And I am at the point that I can no longer angle my arm to hook a bra in back. Aw too bad, I hate bras anyway, but the first time I discovered that, when I went to put one on to go to the store (the only time I wear one these days), I suffered an excruciated surprising intense shock of pain. So that was no fun. And then it takes awhile for the pain to ebb afterwards as it continues to throb for some time afterward. And the soreness lingers.

Recently I discovered I have to be careful when I go to open curtains, reach across from the drivers side of the car to unlock the passenger’s side, and even when I’m sitting at my desk using the mouse, I have to sit close to the mouse because if I sit too far, my shoulder starts to ache.

So yeah, super fun.

And THEN there’s my tooth.

I have this upper tooth that has been sensitive off and on for months now. But it keeps getting worse and then better. I finally went in to a dentist to see what’s going on. He tried replacing the filling in it just before Xmas. That was super fun to have a new filling at Xmas. It felt like a bad spackle job in there and kept tearing up the side of my tongue for days and days until it finally smoothed out! I STILL have this one spot that never smoothed out!

Anyway, it didn’t help that tooth at all and the pain is still there like before, and actually getting much worse. AND when he did my filling he had to keep shooting me with Novocain because I could keep feeling the drill. Even after a couple big doses I still could feel it some and it was uncomfortable but I just wanted to get it over with at that point and tolerated it.

So he referred me to a root canal specialist because he said that is unusual. So I don’t know if that’s what’s going on in there or what, but JUST last night, it started getting SUPER sensitive to cold drinks. Like painfully sensitive. It’s a bit better today and not so painful, just sensitive…but it’s not fun. And I still have close to 3 weeks until my root canal doctor appt.

I’m going to see how I feel the rest of this week and might call them and see if I can come in sooner if it keeps getting worse.

SO ANYWAY…my shoulder (and sometimes my elbow too…both in my right arm) are in pain, my tooth, and I just feel tired and blah.

Got the pandemic blahs too. Just ready to be doing better all around. Not in pain, not cooped up, doing well in my biz, making money, able to see friends, able to get my kids out of the house, able to get life back to some semblance of normal, whatever that means.

I know the entire world feels this right now. And that does somewhat help. Knowing I’m not at all alone in this blah. And I do know that lots of people are much worse off than me. So I know in the scheme of things I’m ok. I just feel BLAH. And feel like whining on MY BLOG.

Because writing helps me feel better. So there. I feel a little better getting it out.

Oh! One good thing! We finally got our new mailbox installed! We got a new one because our old one was super old and the mail lady was complaining it was too short. So we got a new one for our birthdays in November from my parents (because we didn’t have the moolah…they aren’t cheap! We needed a locking one because we’ve had our mail stolen multiple times!) and just hadn’t gotten around to installing it because it meant digging a new hole and all that. Bleh. Too much work.

But yesterday we FINALLY got the whole fam damily out there and did the work and it’s DONE! Concrete and all! YAY! One thing that has been hanging over our heads DONE. So YAY!! Hopefully the mail lady is happy now. And now our mail will no longer be stolen.

Ok, now I’m going to go try to actually accomplish something. I got a new prescription of Ritalin that is higher dose and I’m trying to figure out if it’s working better because the lower dose really did nothing for me. We shall see! Off to work on Tina’s Learning Adventures!

Trying to get my brain to work

posted in: Bleh | 0

It’s the first day of 2021 and yesterday we got our stimulus check direct deposited to our bank account so we were able to catch up on some bills and I was able to buy some things we’ve been needing for a while. Like some clothes. Though I didn’t find anywhere near as much as we needed. My son has grown out of everything and I couldn’t find much for him yet. Still gotta go back and look for more on another day. Target was just out of good stuff when we went yesterday. And we went to 2 Targets!

But the one thing I’m the most excited about is that I was able to FINALLY purchase the theme for Tina’s Learning Adventures (and on sale!!!) that I’ve been wanting to get for a while!

I had hoped I wouldn’t have to buy it, but the more I worked on the site, the more I realized I would need to. All the stuff I was working on was just SO.MUCH.WORK. And this theme just tidies up so much and makes things so much easier, I think. I’m still figuring out how to use it but it already makes everything look SO SLICK so I think I made the right choice. In the long run, it should save me a lot of work, I think.

Everything for websites always takes time to learn at first, so it isn’t unusual to take a bit to figure out. But today I just cannot get my brain to function and figure this stuff out. I told my son that it feels like these gears in my brain are slipping and slipping and just not able to hook up and function properly. But I know from experience that eventually, once I’ve had enough time to keep at it and keep thinking thinking thinking and sorting through things that eventually those gears will finally connect and they will start to move things forward. It always happens like this for me when I’m working on my sites.

I actually really enjoy this process. If I didn’t struggle like this, it wouldn’t feel so damned awesome when I FINALLY GET IT. When things finally connect and I figure stuff out.

Life would just be SO BORING if everything came easily. SERIOUSLY!!!

If my brain figured stuff out super easily I cannot even imagine how dull life would be to me. I do wish I sometimes that I could figure things out a wee bit quicker…but it’s the challenge of figuring stuff out that feels so damned good. So I will keep trying and keep researching and keep on thinking.

Right now I am trying to figure out how to get all these pieces of my site to fit together basically. It’s not something I can just google and find an answer because no one else out there has a site exactly like mine. No one is trying to do exactly what I am doing. So I go and ask questions on the Facebook groups and ask for help from people that know more than me in regards to working with the plugins and programs that I’m using…but it still comes down to me having to keep learning and thinking about what I want to do and figuring out what I want for my customers and my site and figure out how I want this site to look and function.

And I HAVE to learn the ins and outs of so many tedious things to sort out how to make these pieces work together. It gets really frustrating trying to figure out, but it’s a necessary part of the process. And I know it will all be worth it.

But in the meantime, when I’m stuck with my brain still slipping gears, I’m over here trying to get this damn brain of mine to FUNCTION and start to actually figure this shit out!!

Ok, back to work! I got a Pepsi (sometimes the sugar and caffeine jolt helps), and I got my Bruce Springsteen playing…maybe the combination will finally jolt some good thinking here!